The PGA Championship Preview That No One Asked For

Golf's least meaningful major has finally arrived, three weeks earlier than usual thanks to an inaugural world-wide event that is so meaningful that it doesn't have a purse or the top-4 players in the world golf rankings. #GrowTheGame

The PGA returns to a traditional, parkland-style course in Springfield, New Jersey's Baltusrol Golf Club for glory's last shot, and here are the things that you need to know.

First, Omega is the official timekeeper of the PGA of America, so keep the remote at arm's length at all times because you are never safe from the worst commercial in the history of golf, Rory's Hall of Fame Omega spot. Normally, I would link the video, but if you're reading this you're probably in four figures on viewings. No one loves my boy more than I, yes that includes his parents, but that commercial should be tried for war crimes.

I also hate The Script for the song. They wrote a song solely for television bumper music and sports promos. Nevermind, I'm just jealous that they could write a song with the sole intention of making as much mailbox money as possible and actually pulled it off. That's basically my dream. Regardless, I wish they would still stick to what they do best, write uppity-sounding songs that are actually massively depressing. Serious question though, how did it take until 2008 for someone to write a song about how breakups aren't equal? There's always a clear winner and loser. "Her best days were some of my worst" applies to everyone about someone out there because there is no worse feeling than seeing the person who dumped you genuinely happy with someone that's not you, but I digress.

Two, the PGA of America gets theirs as no other major championship broadcast has as many commercials (with half being Rory's). I don't like the move, but I do respect it, mainly because the PGA of America's heart didn't breakeven back in 1968 when the touring players broke away from the organization to form the PGA Tour. The Tour Pros moved on while the Club Pros were still grieving. I can't imagine the tears of unfathomable sadness that the PGA of America's accountant cried when comparing the 1968 and 1969 financial statements.

Three, Baltusrol finishes with consecutive par-5's. The only refrain that you will hear as much as "Standing in the Hall of Fame" will be this fact. You've been warned.

Four, CBS is back at the helm, so the broadcast will be insufferable unless you like your broadcasts light on actual golf while being heavy on pointless pre-recorded segments that show a 59-year old Brit twisting on a medicine ball. Also, if you like your analysts giving uncertain takes only to ask the aforementioned Brit if he agrees, then CBS is here for you. Welcome home.

Now on to the actual golf. The PGA has the highest percentage of one-time winners of all of the majors at 43 percent. The reasoning is unclear and perhaps unfair, but a fact nonetheless. Additionally, only one player has won consecutive PGA Championships since the tournament returned to stroke play (#Phrasing) in 1958, Tiger Woods (2006 and 2007).

While some #Haters made throw some shade on the PGA for being the least among the majors, the tournament is typically quite entertaining. The setup includes wider fairways that offer more birdie chances while also including less penalizing rough affording more chances to recover after a missed fairway, and given the fact that the course ends with consecutive par-5's, the chance for late fireworks on Sunday is very real.

The Hall of Famer is currently the betting favorite at +510 (5.1 to 1). He has had to listen to comparisons to Ringo Starr even though he has as many majors as the other three combined and has the highest percentage of events in which he reaches an elite level among his peers.

Source: Jake Nichols

The course sets up favorable for the Northern Irish South Floridian, and he is currently on the San Francisco Giants trajectory of winning the PGA every other even year as he won the Wanamaker trophy in 2012 and 14.

Every aspect of McIlroy's game appears to be in form with the exception of his putter. However, Rory has always been a streaky putter, in both directions, and the setup allows Rory to play his favored game -- aggressive with as many drivers as possible -- a fact that allows him to putt his best as he plays with more confidence.

The hottest player on the planet, Dustin Johnson, is the second favorite at +600. Johnson is confident with his game and currently driving the golf ball better than anyone alive. He also is the only player in the field that can dethrone Jason Day from the top spot in the World Golf Rankings.

"I want to win," said Johnson today in his media opportunity. "I want to win every major. I'm feeling good. I've got a lot of confidence in the game. I feel like I've been playing really consistent all year. I feel like, every week I've gone out, I've had a chance to win. Right now, I feel like everything is going pretty well. I feel like I'm driving it good. I'm hitting my irons good.My wedge game's really improved. I think that's probably the biggest difference this year than years past, is my wedge game; it's a lot sharper. I've got a lot more control with my wedges. I think that's the big difference for me."

Speaking of Day, he's the third favorite at Baltustrol at +800. While I love the fit for Day, I'm staying away from him given the fact that only Tiger has won consecutively at the championship, and he has had to deal with the tour's No. 1 Look at Me Wife's allergic reaction.

Spieth is next at +1000, but his demeanor and form in 2016 deem him a no-touch for me. Reigning British Open Champion Henrick Stenson follows Spieth at +1200, but it's difficult to see him winning consecutive majors at 41. Sergio follows the Swede at +1500, and if you want gamble that the theme of first-time major winners defines 2016, by all means, go ahead. I've always had a soft spot for a man who always has personalized golf balls labeled with his cell number waiting at the ready should he see an 8 or above in the gallery.

Which brings us to Phil. While many measurables that actually matter say that Phil is a safe bet -- 4th in strokes gained putting, 4th in strokes gained total, 2nd in scoring average, 7th in birdie average, 4th in sand saves, every Phan will tell you that the worst mistake you can make is conflict your head with your heart when it pertains to Phil. I didn't even consider the possibilty that Phil could win the British Open until he birdied No. 1 on Sunday at Troon because I've trained myself thanks to all the years of heartache that was a direct result of believing in the ideal man of caucasian dissent. Therefore, I refuse to believe before a shot is hit at Baltusrol.

Justin Rose and Adam Scott are next and neither is in decent enough form for consideration. America's Sergio, Rickie Fowler, is next and while my gut thinks maybe this is the week for him, I'm very much in the prove it to me stage with Dick.

I've never wanted to pick him in a major as badly as I do this week, but I simply can't.

Bubba is next and is quite the sexy pick among pundits, but I would rather be wrong picking against him to win than be right picking him to win.

Should the weather turn poor during the championship, some of the shorter hitters should enter the fray as they will be able to control the distance on their longer approaches better with the softer greens (see Dufner and Furyk at Cog Hill), then I like Dufner (out of principle), Zach Johnson, and Furyk.

Other sleepers to consider are The People's Golfer (Beef Johnston), Fatrick Reed, Brandon Grace, J.B. Holmes, Hideki Matsuyama, Kevin Na, Billy McGrit, Paul Casey, Kevin Chappell, Andy Sullivan, and Tony Finau.

Isn't he lovely? Isn't he wonderful?

The PGA Championship is the most difficult of the four majors to predict. However, not all heroes wear capes, so I'm going to do it anyway.

Ride or Die. Eventually I'm going to be right.

Enjoy the golf, everyone, and remember #AnyoneButBubba. Feel free to tweet me during tournament (@RivalsJWright). I don't bite.

I want to hear those boos, everyone.

   
PS - Listen to this cover of Breakeven. You're welcome.

Fortune Favors the Bold: Woman teacher 'blames school for her having sex with teenage student'

(Daily Mirror) A female teacher accused of sleeping with a pupil has blamed school administrators for "turning a blind eye."

Mary Beth Haglin even claimed authorities "allowed this to happen" after she was arrested for her relationship with the 17-year-old boy at Washington High in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

She told The Gazette SubCentral, a multidistrict database for substitute teachers, need to take a share of the blame, claiming they knew about the matter since February, but ignored it to protect themselves getting into the limelight.

While she said she appreciates her role and understands she made a mistake, she told the station the school dropped the ball too.


Haglin told them that even though the school said they were investigating, she was still assigned to other Cedar Rapids schools as a substitute.

While authorities say this was down to a miscommunication, Haglin says it was more like an intentional cover up.

She said: "I am not shying away from this, I am not running away from this. I am facing this head-on."

She also blamed her past, saying: "Previous abusive relationships led me into this.


"The environment the school put me in didn't help to curb anything."

The best defense is a good offense is a tremendous arguing strategy. If you don't like the conversation, be the change that you want.

However, I feel like it's not usually the best strategy in a case where you've already admitted guilt. I do however love her digging in and throwing anything at the wall hoping something sticks.

"I'm not shying away from this, but it was really there fault," actually takes my breath away. It's so misguided and cocky that you simply have to respect it. She also threw in "previous relationship abuse" into the fray. The woman is a monster.

Have to respect her pulling a Cartman though. "I understand what I did was wrong, but you must see how this is all somehow your fault, right?"

The New Sherlock Trailer Gave Me The Feels

In.

So. Freaking. In.

Hat tip to the producers of Sherlock on their success because it appears the budget more than tripled for Series 4 ("They're much more than seasons"). Everything in the trailer looks noticeably bigger from the sets to the effect (which is not saying much because I think that was the first time we've seen actual pyro).

The show has clearly taken a much darker turn where it seems as no one is safe, a fact that always makes for better television.

Now, let's mark out for a minute. First, no one claims to love their fans while never actually backing the claim quite like the producers of Sherlock. After all, we are talking about a group of people openly mocked all the fan theory concerning how Sherlock survived the Reichenbach Fall by spending over half of a welcome back episode by spitting in the face of their fans and calling them stupid. Yet we ate it up because we're stupid, and they said they were paying homage to us. Savage stuff, there.

In yet another middle finger to the audience, Mark Gattis, series co-creator and executive producer, stated that "The Abominable Bride" would "completely solve the mystery behind Jim Moriarty's message from the grave".

Watson scratched his head: "So he is dead?"

"Of course he is dead, he blew his own brains out, no one survives that. I just went through the trouble of an overdose to prove it," said Holmes.

"Moriarty is Dead there is no question of it. More importantly I know what he's going to do next."

Oh, piss off, but wait. It gets worse.

God damn it. Why did you have to curse me with Andrew Scott as Jim Moriarty Supersonic Tunnel Vision?!?! I can spot that man in a suit from three continents and a couple of oceans away.

Sure, this could be another dream sequence or a scene inside Sherlock's mind palace, but that appears to be more, and while normally I would celebrate my favorite villain's, who doesn't wear face paint, return, I can't truly enjoy this one because the makers of the show won't let me.

The worst part of it all is that I know why they're doing this, so that we will waste more days of our lives arguing how indeed Moriarty lived with sound theory, only to have them return next year and spit in our face again.

"Aren't ordinary people adorable?"

They win. They'll always win.

For your enjoyment, Jim Moriarty's Greatest Hits:

This Week In Florida

Source: Volusia County Sheriff's Office

For those who follow the Oxford Krystal After Hours Podcast, you will know that we are huge fans of Florida, not the university rather the state.

One of our favorite pastimes on the show is to bring Florida and its residents into the public consciousness by typing "Florida Man" into a google search to see what treasures we will find. However, I don't want to earn the reputation of being sexist, so in today's installment of "This Week in Florida", we turn our attention to a "Florida Woman" search.

(Palm Beach Post) - A homeless woman in Central Florida set her boyfriend on fire because she was "mad at him for not providing her with drugs," according to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office. 

At around 4 p.m. Saturday, Annie Harper, 41, allegedly doused her 34-year-old boyfriend's shorts with a fire accelerant at a homeless camp and then fled the scene on a bicycle, WKMG reports. 

Police responded to the homeless camp after several witnesses called 911 and said they heard screaming coming from the woods and saw a naked man arguing with Harper on the road, according to WKMG. One witness told police that they also saw Harper kick the man while he was on the ground. 

I like this move because sometimes you just can't trust the kerosene to do its job. Sure, it has done its job every previous time, but you never know if it's getting complacent and lazy. Sometimes you have to give it a swift kick to the ass, even when it is doing well. Football coaches always say the great ones want to be coached the hardest. I think kerosene is no different.

When paramedics and deputies arrived the victim told officers that Harper set him on fire and that they were living together in the woods. Deputies located Harper at a nearby convienence store and told authorities different accounts of the incident, including that her boyfriend set himself on fire.

She was arrested on charges of aggravated battery and the victim was sent to the hospital for burn injuries. 


Read more at clickorlando.com 

One moment, I have to set clickorlando.com as my homepage.

This scene is peak Florida - drugs, homelessness, fire, lying to authorities. All we need now is a wild animal for Florida Bingo.

Beef Johnston Puts the NBA on Notice

I'm a free agent @miamiheat 😂😂

A video posted by Andrew 'Beef' Johnston (@beefgolf) on Jul 25, 2016 at 8:29am PDT

Just when you think that you can't possibly love a man more, he goes and does something like this, and it's like you're seeing him for the first time again. Some say that's love.

While some haters may say that 5'11" and 212 lbs. (I gotta get his PR team apparently) isn't prototypical for a 3 and D guy in the league, you can't deny his intangibles. He's got the "It" factor and there's no analytic for that. You just know he passes the eye test, and you can't teach that.

While I know his heart lies with the Heat, I personally am sad that he waited a year to declare for free agency because The People's Golfer was just the perimeter threat that the Grizzlies has been missing. He's instant offense.

PS - Moments after receiving this tweet, Johnston made the picture his avatar. Beef, stop it, bro. You already made the sell.

Think I have found my new profile pic 😂 https://t.co/4Pon4jsbAu

— Andrew'BEEF'Johnston (@BeefGolf) July 25, 2016

PPS - Not sure who deserves the credit, Arby's or Beef's management team, but who made the call to lock him up as the face of the franchise is god damned genius. Well Done (which Beef never orders).

Star Quality

The Canadian Open Preview That No One Asked For

The PGA Tour returns to the Great White North to host the RBC Canadian Open at the Jack Nicklaus Signature, Glen Abbey Golf Club.

The course is famed for its “Valley Holes”, No. 11-15, which appropriately enough are played in a valley with hazards all around. Additionally, the course is noted for its 18^th hole because of the brilliant 6 iron that Tiger Woods hit from the fairway bunker in 2000 to solidify the Triple Crown of the PGA Tour.

(Side Note - I am really starting to hate the fact that my younger brother beat me to the Tiger bandwagon because I never got fully appreciate what he did in his prime.)

Like so many other Nicklaus courses, that make regular appearances on the PGA Tour – such as Valhalla, Muirfield Village, PGA West, PGA National, Montreaux Golf and Country Club, etc. – Glen Abbey often favors the best drivers of the golf ball. However, that fact is not a given as Chez Reavie and Nathan Green, both short hitters, have both won at the venue.

Glen Abbey will host the tournament for a record 28^th time. Of the 27 previous winners, a major champion has won the tournament 14 times (including Jason Day last year). Additionally either someone that won a major championship or finished finished runner-up or better in another contest at Glen Abbey, has won 18 of the 27 times.

Currently the betting favorites (according to betwc) are Jason Day and Dustin Johnson, both +400 (4:1 to win). Both would fit the criteria listed above as each is a major champion and has finished runner up or better in a previous Canadian Open hosted at Glen Abbey. Shockingly, the No. 1 and 2 ranked players in the world are heavy favorites.

Jason Day bounced back from leaving a lead-tying-putt short at last year's British Open hosted at St. Andrews with a win at Glen Abbey that propelled him to three more wins in his next five starts, including the PGA Championship.

Matt Kuchar has the next best odds to win at +1200 and could also be a potential winner as he finished tied for second in 2013. Jim Furyk is +1700, but I would stay away from the two-time winner of the Canadian Open as he has neither won nor finished runner up at Glen Abbey although if you’re simply looking for someone to place in the top 10, he wouldn’t be a bad selection as he has finished fourth and tied-ninth in the last two contests at Glen Abbey.

Brandt Snedeker is the 2013 champion at Glen Abbey and currently has the fifth-best odds to win this weekend, tied with Emiliano Grillo.  

One caution I would add when picking a favorite is that remember than thanks to the Olympics, the PGA Championship is next week. Many of the top-ranked guys have played a ton of tournaments since the Players (Dustin Johnson will be playing his eighth event in 10 weeks time), so they might not be so eager to stick around should they not be in contention.

Can't believe more top players aren't fired up to wear these.

If you’re trying to fill out your fantasy lineup or are looking to take a flyer this weekend, here are some other names that have had past success at Glen Abbey: William McGirt, Chaz Hoffman, David Hearn, Stewart Cink, Daniel Summerhays, Roberto Castro, Chad Campbell, Adam Hadwin. 

Ernie Els has had good success at the event, but if you want to bet on a 46-year-old who has missed the cut in five-of-his-last-six events, be my guest. Additionally if you're considering playing a Canuck, no one from our suburb to the north has won the tournament at Glen Abbey (American style course) or won outright since 1954. Therefore proceed with caution on Hearn, Hadwin, and Graham DeLaet.

The British Open Preview That No One Asked For

Sports Week Hell is in full force as there are no official American sporting events until the weekend, and even that is July baseball.

However, across the pond 155 of the world’s best players, and Bubba Watson, will tee it up at Royal Troon Golf Club in hopes of winning the year’s third major.

While this year’s version doesn’t have the same anticipation as last year’s, as Jordan Spieth was attempting to capture the third leg of a grand slam before falling one shot shy of missing a playoff, excitement is still abound as a major championship is on the line.

Out is ESPN/ABC while NBC/Golf Channel enter the broadcast, so now instead of hearing about Johnny Miller’s Final Round comeback at the 1973 U.S. Open victory every year, we get to hear about his much less discussed Final Round comeback at the 1976 BRITISH Open Championship (If you want to claim superiority, then try beating us in a war.) #Blessed

The Golf Channel will broadcast live golf at a major for the first time ever, so here are a couple of viewing tips from a professional Golf Channel watcher. Number one, whenever Brandel Chamblee is on the screen, press the mute button. No one has won less yet thought he won more in the history of golf broadcasting than Chamblee. Number two, be prepared for overly melodramatic essays and references to basketball that are marginally applicable from Rich Lerner. Number three, pray that Terry Gannon and David Feherty are the lead broadcasters.

Troon rests southwest of Glasgow and is regarded as one of the fairest tests in the British Open rota as every champion in the modern era has finished under par with the winning score usually around 12-under par.

When attempting to identify the champion, one must consider several factors. One statistic that will be shoved down your throat during the championship is that the previous six winners at Troon have all been American, dating back to Arnold Palmer’s win in 1962.

Thanks, great stuff, guys. The rise of the elite European golfer didn’t occur until the mid 1980s, and the venue only hosted the tournament once between 1983 and 1997 (the year which we all know is when Tiger Woods said, "Hello," and change golf forever). The statistic is misleading because there weren’t many opportunities when international players were at the top of the rankings. The best chance occurred in 1989 when Mark Calcavecchia bested two Australians, Greg Norman and Wayne Grady, in a playoff.

Therefore, I will not be putting too much stock into that note.

However, I will take note of the type of players the champions were at the time of his win rather than his nationality. Palmer, Tom Weiskopf, Tom Watson, Calcavecchia, Justin Leonard, and Tom Hamilton are the most recent winners at Troon. With the exception of Hamilton -- who really is an anomaly as he is a lightning-in-a-bottle type winner (Sorry, Sergio) and Leonard, who was a tremendous player in windy conditions and outstanding scrambler -- the winner has primarily used his driver on the path to victory.

However, when looking for the winner, don’t necessarily look for just bombers. In 2004 eight of the finishers inside the Top-10 ranked 25^th or better in driving accuracy during the championship, including Hamilton. Six of the Top-10 finishers ranked 10^th or better in driving accuracy in 2004.

Troon has the smallest greens of any of the courses in the rota. Therefore, the fairway is a greater premium there because it is more difficult to hold greens on approaches from the rough than other links courses.

The top-30 finishers in the 1997 British Open averaged hitting 9.64 fairways per round in 1997 while 11.53 greens per round. The fairway average dropped in 2004 to 8.69 (nice) while the green average roughly stayed the same at 11.51. Drivers saw a significant technological advancement from 1997 to 2004 allowing players to hit the ball much farther with the driver, a fact that could explain the drop in fairways while not showing a drop in greens as players were closer to the hole and had shorter clubs to the greens.

Since 2000, only six Champion Golfers of the Year won his only major, David Duval (former world No. 1), Ben Curtis, Todd Hamilton, Stewart Cink, Louis Oosthuizen (lost two other majors in a playoff), and Darren Clarke, so look for someone that already has a major to be the champion as no one multiple major champion won his first at the British Open since 2000. Further, the last winner of multiple majors to win his first at the British Open was Nick Faldo in 1987.

Since 11.5 greens per round would be good enough for 130^th on the PGA Tour in 2016, I’m looking for guys near the top of the Total Driving category and guys that make large quantities of birdies as that is another common trait of champions at Troon.

Players in the field that rank within the top-50 of both Total Driving and Birdies Per Round are: Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Henrick Stenson, Sergio Garcia, Jason Dufner, Rickie Fowler, Ryan Palmer, Kevin Kisner, Justin Rose, Billy Horschel, and Emiliano Grillo. A couple of other names that are close are Danny Lee and Scott Piercy.  

Using the criteria mentioned above, I can narrow my pick to either Spieth, McIlroy, Dustin, Dufner, and Rose (Pretty heroic way to justify picking a Top-4 player if you ask me).

I can’t make a convincing case against DJ other than when was the last time a guy won consecutive majors while adding a WGC event in the interim?

You see what I did there?! Rory is the last guy to do it when he won the British Open and the PGA Championship in 2014 with a win at the Bridgestone Invitational sandwiched between.

Rory's pissed. He got called Ringo. I mean even to a guy like me, that's cold. The conditions at Troon will be similar to that at Liverpool in 2014 where he blew the field away for three rounds in route to a win. 

Every statistical metric shows that Rors is close but has no cigar. His downfall has always been his focus. When he's sharp, he's nearly unbeatable. He appears to have an edge and focus this week that he's yet to show in recent memory. It's ride or die time. Let's roll.

PS - It's also not a bad omen that I fired a career-round yesterday while wearing the Rory McIlroy Nike Collection rather than Mr. Millar. 

PPS - I also like Adam Scott, Matthew Fitzmagic, Charl Scwartzel (minus the equipment change), and out of principle, the People's Golfer, Andrew Johnston (aka the British John Daly).