Rory McIlroy Murders Brandel Chamblee at a Press Conference

(Geoff Shackleford) - Speaking the press here at Riviera on the eve of his first West Coast Swing appearance, McIlroy talked about his program and then, with a bit of an edge, referenced Golf Channel's Brandel Chamblee.

Q. You talked about golf being such a thinking game, you take such an analytical approach. In your discovery of yourself in exercise, where did nutrition and exercise become such a foundation of who you are?

RORY McILROY: It probably started at the -- probably end of 2010 is when it started because I had back problems and as a 19-, 20-year-old having back problems isn't really the -- really you're just at the start of your career, and you don't want to have to keep managing that for the rest of your career.

So it was really the middle of 2010, end of 2010 where I realized that this isn't going to get any better unless I start to take care of myself better. So getting in the gym, eating better, and I think from the start of 2011, the direct correlation between leading a healthier lifestyle and my performance on the course was the same. I won my first major in 2011. I got to the best World Ranking I had ever been in 2011, and then it just continued from there.

So I definitely feel like the more I got into exercise and fitness and everything, the better my game became. And that correlation has sort of -- they have become parallel to me.

CHRIS REIMER: Do any squats today?

RORY McILROY: Not yet. I'm planning to, though. Maybe with Brandel on my back. (Laughter)

Oh my God! I just witnessed murder in cold blood. How about a headsup, Rors, when your about to throw a jab like that. Everyone's least favorite golf "opinion maker" wasn't even ready.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Rory's only fault is where he was born, and that's not on him. He's remedied that mistake by living here and marrying one of our own (Even though I'm holding out hope that he dumps her the week before The Masters and goes on to win.). The debt has been paid. 

Checking in with Sting Ray - Oops, he did it again!

So for those that haven't heard, Starkville had Mr. Sex -- aka Stingray-- in the house last night for Mississippi State's basketball game against Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt couldn't secure a rebound to ice the game and cover allowing Quinndary Weatherspoon to hit a three as time expired to give the Bulldogs a 75-74 win. Well you know who else looks like he scored as time expired? That's right, Mr. Sex.

Seriously, how hot do you think Kaylee is in that photo? You can feel the electricity. Sure, you can go with the cheap laugh angle and throw some shade on my boy, but I chose to look beyond the surface.

You know what a girl loves? Confidence. And Sting Ray is just oozing with confidence here. I don't think he got her number. I KNOW he got her number. A girl can't say no to a class ring. It's just good science.

Side note - Kaylee Hartung is 30. Yeah, that 30. It's unbelievable how well petite girls age. She looks like she's drinking Moscato when in reality she's probably already on to Merlot.

Truly unreal stuff. Here's a look at other petite girls that have put a beatdown on aging.

Susanna Hoffs - aka the lead singer of the Bangals  

She's 57. Yes, FIFTY SEVEN.

Jane Seymour - aka Kitty Kat

Dr. Quinn really was a doctor it seems because she's 65 and looks like that.

Eva Longoria still has a fastball at 40.

Selma Hayek still works the corners at 49.

Note to self, go petite when you get married. She'll age better, and you'll look better in pictures if you get famous because no one will realize that you're 5'7 3/4".

Pro Tip: Don't Invite a Single Ryan Reynolds to Your Date With Blake Lively

(People) - Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively were just "buddies" while filming The Green Lantern together six years ago, but after it wrapped a new and more intimate flame was ignited – while they were on a double date with other people. 

"About a year after Green Lantern had come and gone and we were both single we went on a double date – she was on a date with another guy and I was on a date with another girl – and it was like the most awkward date for the respective parties because we were just like fireworks coming across," he told PEOPLE and EW Editorial Director Jess Cagle on SiriusXM's Entertainment Weekly Radio Deadpool special.

Tough break for the other guy in this story, but really what did he expect? Who the hell thinks it's a good idea to invite the guy with model good looks and a great sense of humor to your date with one of the hottest people on the planet?!?! If anything you invite someone like me -- short, not threatening in the looks department (I've heard people say I'm just cute, not hot), overly chatty with the good possibility of saying something repulsive -- to dinner so that you can come off looking even better, not the guy who stars in super hero movies as the super hero.

In all seriousness though, this has to be brutal for the other guy in the story. He's the tragic victim here. He probably thought to himself, "I only have one chance with Blake. This could be life changing for me, so I have to impress her. I know, I'll invite Ryan. He's not only every girl's dream, but he's like every guy's man crush too. Plus, it's not like he'll try to swoop in and scoop n' score either. Win-win."

Uh, newsflash, bro. Ryan Reynolds only has one speed. You don't go from Alanis Morrisette to Scarlett Johansson without cutting a few throats along the way.

Update on the other guy:

The Giants Hire a Proven Roster Builder. JK They Hired the Lions' Former GM

Huge news today for the G-Men. Anytime you have the opportunity to go out and hire a proven roster builder like Martin Mayhew, you have to do it no questions asked, regardless of the cost. Talent like that ain't cheap. I mean since Mayhew joined the Lions in 2001, the Lions have gone 78-162 with no playoff wins or division championships. You don't want a guy like that to be a part of your organization. You NEED a guy like that to be a part of your organization.

If there was any doubt that the Giants would be drafting another wide receiver this year, this move squashes that. The only team that drafts wide receivers more than the Giants is the Lions. Although this does eliminate the possibility of drafting an offensive lineman that can't block or a DB that can't cover, so I guess that's progress.

Can we please stop with the narrative now that the Giants are one of the best run organizations in sports? Seriously, stop it. They have capitalized on two hot playoff runs, but let's stop acting like they are the Patriots or even the Steelers. They're not. They're a storied franchise that can't make the playoffs in a weak division. I do however, admire they're decision to dig in and double-down on what's not working. That should fix things right up.

Go Big Blue.  

Greg Popovich Is Done With America

Hall of Fame sideline interview here. It's vintage Pop -- condescending answers complete with an utter disdain for the fact that he is forced to do these.

Hats of to David Aldridge though. He found a way to get an actual emotional response from Pop. He's flat out done, no more. That's enough. He's out. Cue the Token.

Oscar Gift Bags Worth $220,000 Are So Hollywood It Hurts

(Fox) - Sex toys, breast enhancements, and Japanese walking vacations are just some of the gifts included in this year's $220,000 Oscar swag bag.

Compiled by gift bag company Distinctive Assets, the six-figure haul is for the Hollywood type who has everything. Well, at least the best actor nominee, best actress nominee, best supporting actor nominee, best supporting actress nominee, and best director nominee who has everything. (Sorry costume designers and cinematographers and documentary filmmakers and everyone else!)

Here are some of the highlights.

The Vampire Breast Lift, at a listed value of $1,900, uses a woman's own blood to "revive rounder cleavage."

Silvercar, at a value of $45,000, gives you a year's supply of Audi A4 rental cars. 

Walk Japan offers any of their popular 15-day walking tours, valued at a whopping $54,000. It is one of several free vacations included.

Nuelle's Fiera Arouser for Her retails for $250, and ... we'll just leave it at that.


But not every gift is odd or out of reach. Exhibit A: A tube of Chapstick, valued at $6. Which, come to think of it, is still pretty expensive for Chapstick.

The Oscar gift bags are so Hollywood it hurts -- everything from sex toys, to breast enhancement, to ridiculous walking tours of Japan that probably "center them with the universe", to fast cars, and of course, overpriced chapstick.

The gift bag somehow managed to capture the essence of Hollywood as a microcosm: expensive, horny, and completely devoid of reality. Well done, Distinctive Assets. Well done.

Clemson Defenders Have Been Tagging Thomas Edison Himself, Baker Mayfield, in Instagram Posts

Ruthless move by the first losers, here. Truth be told I was actually starting to warm up to the Taylor Swift of College Football, but not anymore. This is an unforgivable offense. People have been tried for lesser crimes. I won't stand for this kind of cyber bullying, no sir, not on my watch.

You don't come after Mr. Electricity and leave unscathed. Ben Boulware, I choose you.

Here's a look of all the plays he made in the national title game. He wears No. 10 and is the one who makes no plays.

   

Let this be a lesson to everyone in college football. If you come after my boy, I will come after you, and I don't fight fair. I will find every play that you didn't make in the biggest game of your life and use it against you. #BadBoyLife

Trey Parker Thought "Make Love, Not Warcraft" Was So Bad That It Would Ruin South Park's Legacy

(CinemaBlend) - Not every episode of South Park is a hit, and not every episode of South Park is a miss. However, every week without fail, South Park co-creator Trey Parker has to be talked down off the ledge regarding the quality of an episode the Comedy Central animated series has produced. In a recent interview, he explained what happened the one time South Park produced an episode that he thought was so remarkably bad that he basically lost it. Here’s what he had to say:  

"Every Tuesday, Matt (Stone) and Anne (Garefino) know they have to talk me off the cliff. Every show, I’m like, ‘This is a horrible show, I don’t want anyone to see it.’ There’s one episode we did, it was the first show of the season, and I’m like, I’ve lost it. I don’t know how to do this anymore. I was like, please, I was begging Anne, ‘Do not let this go on the air, because I don’t want the South Park legacy to be ruined, and this show is going to ruin it, because it’s so bad and I’m just going to feel terrible.’ We just ended up going, it’s just got to go on the air, Trey.  I just went home and was depressed and couldn’t sleep, and I got in the next day and they’re like, dude, people really like that show. And it was the show about World of Warcraft."

As Trey Parker continues to note to SBS2 Australia, it was the  World of Warcraft-based episode that caused him so much stress. “Make Love, Not Warcraft,” is probably one of the most famous episodes of South Park ever, hitting the schedule back in 2006, when World of Warcraft was still new-ish and incredibly popular. In the episode, Carman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny get way too involved with the game, growing overweight as they drink mostly energy drinks and eat mostly Hot Pockets to get back to the game as quickly as possible. The episode is made even better because Blizzard Entertainment, which owns the World of Warcraft property, is actually involved.

Unreal, the quarterback of South Park thought that arguably one of the greatest episode in series history was so bad that it would tarnish the show's legacy and nearly sent him into depression. That's how good he is at his job. What he thinks is a poor effort is actually award-winning television.

The episode would go on to win the Emmy for best animated program under one hour, and Parker wanted to kill it. The episode truly has it all, Cartman's scheming, Randy's outrageousness, making of a point, and a tasteful diarrhea scene.

The biggest question I had when reading the article was, "How many laughs would we have missed out on had the episode never seen the light of day?". The episode might have the most laughs per second of any South Park episode because it doesn't take a single play off.

Best Exchange:

Cartman: Clyde, Clyde! [moves around his podium to talk to Clyde more directly] If you had a chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? [beat] I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?
Clyde: [unshaken] I'm just gonna stop playing.
Cartman: When Hitler rose to power there were a lot of people who just stopped playing. You know who those people were? The French! Are you French, Clyde?
Clyde: No.
Cartman: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, Clyde?     

I have only one regret in life -- that Trey Parker and Matt Stone don't have more money.

Truth in Advertising

"Settle for Hillary" is basically the metaphor for US politics in 2016. Everyone sucks, so try to find the person that sucks the least.

Donald Trump's Social Experiment Rolls On

Are we officially at the point that Donald Trump's campaign has just become a huge game of Truth or Dare, and Trump refuses to pick Truth ever?

We've officially hit the point where a political candidate who has as good of a chance of winning the nomination as anyone in the field is openly calling an opponent a "pussy" in public.

Then he proceeded to go to a steakhouse and ordered a ribeye cooked well done. Has any rich guy on the planet ever done this move? I mean I completely understand liking what you like, but this has to be the first example in human history of a man who not only is rich but also grew up rich ordered beef well done past the age of 6.

The only working theory that I have for why he did this move is that he was subtly insulting the place by saying he didn't trust them to prepare a steak properly so he went safe with well done.

Honestly, I'm leaning towards that. The steak was only $54, so in fairness to Trump, he probably thought he was at Chili's. 

I'm getting closer and closer to actually believing his social experiment campaign is really just a bet with someone. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. We can eliminate that this is a legitimate campaign, so therefore it must either be a game or a bet. Aren't ordinary people just adorable? 

We're on to basketball

Is it bad if you make 10 bets and only win two of them?

I'm not here to dwell on the past, but you know it's not your night when Beyonce doesn't show any cleavage. That seemed like a free space.

Truth be told I just couldn't generate any offense. When your leadoff hitter doesn't doesn't get on, it's tough to score, and Lady Gage was a bad table setter. I mean she just HAD TO GO FOR THAT SECOND BRAVE. It wasn't enough to simply do a good job. She had to be Gaga.

The coin toss didn't get any better either, but that one's on me. Every ounce of empirical data said that you have to go tails there, and I went heads. Just living that bad boy life.

I'm still struggling to come to grips with the fact that a team that whose quarterback registered a 9.9 QBR and only generated 194 yards of offense won a Super Bowl by two scores, but it happened. But as I said I've already thrown this one in the trash and we're on to basketball.

Great shooters keep shooting, and no one has broken out of a slump from the bench.

UNC Greensboro and Furman over 135.5.

PS - I'll be saving these...

Welcome to the Spin Zone with Donald J. Trump

I've never been more convinced that this "campaign" is nothing more than a social experiment. In fact you can't convince me that Trump isn't running because of a bet that he made. That's how Scientology happened, you know?

However, Trump completely reinvented the spin game today. He might have produced a masterpiece, even.

Love this. Get out in front and tell the story that you want told. Don't sit back and let the story control you. That's PR 101. Also, remember to delete any Tweets from 2013, so that this can't be brought up again.

The most important lesson that Mr. Trump shows us though is that the best defense is a good offense.

"Write your own book because you can tell your story better than anyone." - Donald J. Trump