(Fox) - Sex toys, breast enhancements, and Japanese walking vacations are just some of the gifts included in this year's $220,000 Oscar swag bag.
Compiled by gift bag company Distinctive Assets, the six-figure haul is for the Hollywood type who has everything. Well, at least the best actor nominee, best actress nominee, best supporting actor nominee, best supporting actress nominee, and best director nominee who has everything. (Sorry costume designers and cinematographers and documentary filmmakers and everyone else!)
Here are some of the highlights.
The Vampire Breast Lift, at a listed value of $1,900, uses a woman's own blood to "revive rounder cleavage."
Silvercar, at a value of $45,000, gives you a year's supply of Audi A4 rental cars.
Walk Japan offers any of their popular 15-day walking tours, valued at a whopping $54,000. It is one of several free vacations included.
Nuelle's Fiera Arouser for Her retails for $250, and ... we'll just leave it at that.
But not every gift is odd or out of reach. Exhibit A: A tube of Chapstick, valued at $6. Which, come to think of it, is still pretty expensive for Chapstick.
The Oscar gift bags are so Hollywood it hurts -- everything from sex toys, to breast enhancement, to ridiculous walking tours of Japan that probably "center them with the universe", to fast cars, and of course, overpriced chapstick.
The gift bag somehow managed to capture the essence of Hollywood as a microcosm: expensive, horny, and completely devoid of reality. Well done, Distinctive Assets. Well done.
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