Indianapolis Colts hire the Quarterback Whisperer, Brian Schottenheimer

"Which way is the end zone? I forget." We know.

Associated Press - The Indianapolis Colts hired Brian Schottenheimer as their quarterbacks coach Monday.

Schottenheimer has been coaching for 19 years, 16 in the NFL. He was Georgia's offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach last season and spent the previous three seasons as offensive coordinator of the St. Louis Rams. He held the same position with the New York Jets for six seasons.


Schottenheimer also has coached with the Chargers, Redskins and Chiefs.

Great news, y'all. The Quarterback Whisperer is back where he belongs, the NFL. The NFL is the one league that a last name can guarantee you a gig for life, so it and BS are perfect for each other. In no other profession other than maybe meteorology can you be as ineffective at your job yet still always find good work.

Let's take a look at the results that Coach BS has gotten throughout the years.

Seriously, it's like the AFC South has declared war on each other to see who can be the most incompetent. The Titans raised the bar by not only hiring a retread coach but also by hiring a retread with no history of success ever. It's this kind of bold thinking that has allowed them to lose 30 of their last 37 games.

Well, the Colts won't stand by idly and lose the upper hand. No, they had to go great creative and hire a proven bottom-third offensive mind to tutor their franchise quarterback. That should do the trick.

I'm afraid my criticism may come across as anti coach. That's not the case. I'm anti bad coach. I'm also not of the opinion that all coaches are infallible and shouldn't be questioned. Somehow, the narrative has become that coaches are smarter than they really are. If they are so brilliant, why don't they do much in their life away from football? Guys like Belichick and Saban would probably be successful in whatever they chose to do, but they chose football. However, guys like Jim Tomsula, Mike Pettine, and Houston Nutt chose football because that was their best chance to make tons of money not because they were exceptional minds.

My biggest issue with the incestuous nature of the NFL coaching ranks is that it is in direct contrast with what we love about sports. We love sports, particularly professional sports, because the best player plays (unless he likes to party, in that case Austin Davis plays.) regardless of social standing or lineage. Tom Brady isn't the quarterback of the Patriots because of who he knows or who his father is. He's the quarterback because he's the best. Sports is the ultimate meritocracy. They keep score for a reason.

I don't care for the ironic nature of the business. Coaches want the best and most from their players, yet they stick with convenience and comfort on their staffs regardless of past success or usually lack there of. 

Brian Schottenheimer would be the first person to tell you that his success and job standings in the NFL has nothing to do with his last name, and sadly I actually agree. While he probably wouldn't have gotten the initial opportunity without his last name, he continues to get work because he has had work because once you're in NFL coaching, you're in as long as you want to work.