Golf Digest - We begin with a disclosure: When you ask folks in all walks of golf life a personal question, it's only fair to answer it yourself. The question was this: "How much cash do you have on you... and why?"
Cash is still king, right?
Even in this age of credit cards and electronic banking, people still carry cash. OK, well, most people.
I had $182 when I stopped Golf Channel's Brandel Chamblee at the Open Championship last summer at St. Andrews. To Chamblee's credit, he was forthcoming. (One major champion declined—old school.) Chamblee, a former PGA Tour player, was carrying $80, plus £70. "I usually carry about $300," he said. "I'm not extravagant.
"I mean, if this is a contest, then Phil Mickelson is going to win it."
Later came a text, Phil following up: $6,500 in $100s and $1,600 in $20s. $8,100 total.
Huge week for us Phil Phans as he returns to action this week at La Quinta, and what better way to celebrate than a story of about how outrageous he is with money?
Phil is what we as white people should aspire to be. We should keep pictures of him in our doorways just like the North Koreans do with Supreme Leader.
Rich and successful on his own merit? Yup. Elite-level golfer? Check. Owns his own Jet? Sure does. Degenerate gambler? Who's asking? Suspected of insider trading? Hey, he always plays a tip. Incessantly whines about taxes? Oh yeah. Carries close to 65 $100 bills in his wallet while also carrying another 80 $20s? You betcha.
I'm so sick and tired of truly rich people having to act like they're not. F off, Cuban. You have 10 figures next to your name. You can lose the t-shirt and cargos.
Phil never even pretends to be anything other than filthy rich, and unlike guys like Ian Poulter, it somehow makes him endearing. It just goes to show how far a smile can go, whether it be fake or not. Poulter? Douche. Phil? Hero.
Welcome back FIGJAM. Missed you.
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PS - STEVE BURKOWSKI, Golf Channel announcer: $2,000. "That's a bit higher than normal. It's usually about $500, but I know there's a casino about 20 miles from here, and I figured I might want to check it out."
Welcome to Team Little Fella, Steve. You can play on my team anytime you'd like.
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