Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Who Needs Viagra When You've Got a Tweet Like This?



Whooooo! If that tweet doesn't make you feel it in the loins as a fan, nothing will. Nothing like the thought of a retread hire of someone that was less successful than the guy you just fired to give you that afternoon lift you needed to finish the workday strong.

Let's take a look at the candidates. Mike Smith, come on down.


Overall, not a bad body of work save for the fact that he's 1-4 in the playoffs, and that can usually be attributed to quarterback play. Matt Ryan is fine, but in every matchup against a better player (Kurt Warner, Aaron Rodgers, Eli Manning), he was beaten. The outlier is 2012 when the Falcons lost to Colin Kaepernick, but anyone that watched his performance during playoffs thought their TV had somehow flipped to a game of Madden.

Honestly, I'm such a sad state that I think I just talked myself into Mike Smith. My single biggest hangup is that he made a name for himself by coaching the Ravens defense when they had Ray Lewis in his prime. 

Here's a list of people that Ray Lewis got NFL head coaching gigs: Mike Smith, Chuck Pagano, Mike Pettine, Marvin Lewis, Rex Ryan, Mike Singletary, Mike Nolan, and Jack Del Rio. These coaching stalwarts have combined for a 353-356-2 (.497) record in the regular season and a sizzling 6-15 record in the playoffs with Rex Ryan accounting for four of those wins.

And then there's Doug Marrone. 


Pluses, he has won twice within the city limits (Nothing puts you on the map like the Pinstripe Bowl, nothing.), and he did actually accomplish a winning season with the Bills. That hadn't been done in a decade. 

Minuses, he did quit on his team, like literally quit. He just opted out of his contract after a winning season. He took his ball and went home.

I'm sick of the retread. Honestly, coaching in the NFL is the single greatest gig around. Once you're in, you're in. You have at the minimum a six-figure job for as long as you want to work so long as you're willing to be an assistant.

However, when is the last time that a retread hire worked? The best arguments are for Belichick, Pete Carroll, and honestly Tom Coughlin, who was slightly above .500 coach who made the most of two playoff runs (Curiously, he finished with a .531 win percentage at both Jacksonville and New York). Belichick was also building something in Cleveland until Art Modell decided to move his team to Baltimore creating a toxic locker room and work environment. Pete Carroll was forced to go back to the college ranks and even that was a struggle to do as he was famously USC's fourth choice to replace Paul Hackett.

Which brings me to my conclusion. Why continue to do the same thing and expect a different result? The retread doesn't work. There are exceptions, but that's what they are. For every Pete Carroll, there's a Lovie Smith. For every Bill Belichick, there's a John Fox. 

It's time to think differently. The city needs to get more Urban, and by that I mean, go get Urban Meyer. Sure, his success has been limited to the college game, but he's won everywhere he has been. Bowling Green, He won. Utah, He won. Florida, He's the only person not named Spurrier to win big at Florida (sneak overrated job). Ohio State, he won and did so before anyone expected him to.

Parcells likes to say that you are what your record says you are. Urban is a winner. He can handle the egos of an NFL locker room, and he has shown that he can run a team full of criminals, two skills necessary to succeed in the NFL.     

I don't care that he's a fraud. I don't care that he's a hypocrite. He's not saving lives. He's coaching football. Give me the one who wins and doesn't care what gets in the way. Give me Urban, the city could use a little more of it.

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