Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Good News! I Fixed Rory's Game for M...Him


(Source) - Rory McIlroy is suffering from a lack of focus, according to Paul McGinley, who feels the Northern Irishman should heed the advice of Arnold Palmer.

After a final-round 70 at Sawgrass, McIlroy conceded that he shanked his tee shot at the 13th into the water hazard because he was still cross with himself for missing a putt on the previous hole.

The four-time major winner said afterwards that his game "was just not clicking" and McGinley believes McIlroy needs to improve his ability to put poor shots quickly behind him.

"Arnold Palmer had a quote that I didn't understand when I was a boy, but now I understand it," McGinley said in quotes reported by the Irish Sun. "He used to say, 'The greatest gift you need mentally in this game is the ability to forget'.

"I don't think his putting is his problem. His concentration levels are down.

First, is "cross with himself" an actual thing? Can you really say that? Like is it the same as saying a pass on FIFA was "sensible"? Because if so, I'm all in on this phrase. Nothing makes you sound smarter than say an athletic play was sensible. You just ooze proper.

Second, I totally agree here. Everyone wants to blame his putter, but that's simply not the issue. Take a look at his putting statistics.



The numbers make no sense. He's the best putter on tour in Round 2. Even if you want to say pressure is the biggest factor, his Round 4 numbers make less sense. Even more so, he's 171st on tour from three feet but is 127 spots better from four feet. However, he's 173rd on Tour from five feet yet somehow 45th on tour from six. Remember shitty putters are shitty all the time. That's kind of their thing.

He's ninth on Tour on average distance of putts made yet 118th in strokes gained putting. The numbers are on drugs, which consequently is what Rory should be too, and I'm not talking recreational. I mean perspription, adderall or vyvanse, to be specific. AKA performance enhancing drugs as we used to say in school.

Nothing makes a 10-page paper a breeze quite like good ole Addy.

Listen, it's not like I'm telling him to abuse drugs. Anyone that wears these in public shows an extreme lack of focus.


There's not a psychiatrist in the country that wouldn't be alarmed by this cry for help. He's have that script within the hour. No need to thank me. Not all heroes wear capes.


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